So I’ve been giving some thought to a problem I’ve been having during the last few trips to the coveted hole of muddy mudness. Cleaning up!
With this fancy zentai suit, I’m able to really get into the spirit of sloshing and grinding and rolling around in the mud, feeling less skittish about sticking my arms in and getting my hands really dirty. The suit allows the bulk of the mud to remain outside, and I’m usually able to get by with a quick wipe and dry off before putting my normal clothes back on and leaving.
Even so, I find I’m spending too much time in the nude, wet and cold, trying to mop up gobs of mud goo so I don’t cover all my clean stuff with mud. So I’m just gonna talk through this and see if I can find some solutions.
Problem #1: Removing the mud-soaked zentai suit is problematic.
When I bought suit, I opted for a front zipper so I could shove gobs of mud inside the suit. While this enhances the squishy, it also means the entire suit is weighed down by all the caked mud and wetness. The zipper is also just barely wide enough to slip over my fat ass and wide shoulders. So while getting it on is actually kind of fun, taking it off is much more difficult. There’s always a chance I’ll break the zipper, or tear out an armpit or something.
I think the solution for this is to scoop out as much mud as I can when I am finished, and actually start to use this nice little portable shower thingy I have to wash off much of the goop stuck to the outside. This should let me stretch the suit enough to get my shoulders out, and the rest comes off pretty easily.
Problem #2: Digging through the bag for stuff.
This problem is related to not being 100% clean after cleaning off. I think the trick here is to have the towels out and ready so I’m clean and dry before digging through the bag of clean things. OK This one was pretty easy. Not so much when there’s tons of mosquitoes around, but I haven’t even been using my bug repellent this season because there’s been like no bugs.
Problem #3: Putting dirty clothes away means getting dirty again.
So I think this is simple happening because I’m getting clean and ready to leave before putting the dirty stuff away. I have a waterproof bag handy to put the wet clothes in so I don’t get everything else in the bad soaking wet or full of mud, but this doesn’t work all that great because I have to hold the bag open and inevitably the muddy clothes make contact with the outside of the bag. I think in this case I’m gonna seek out some sort of container that I can simple drop the clothes in as I take them off instead of throwing them haphazardly on the ground while I do other things. This also helps to solve the next problem…
Problem #4: Stuff everywhere!
This is evidenced by the recent post where I mentioned losing a bottle of shower gel in the tall grass surrounding the mud hole. I didn’t mention it then, but I’d misplaced my hat and bear deterrent during that trip also, and I ended up spending like a half hour looking around in the dark with my dinky flashlight for it. Not 100% sure on a solution for this yet, but I might consider some sort of sheet on the ground or something so I can at least keep everything together. Like #3, this solution may be helpful for the following issue:
Problem #5: Where did my escape plan go?
So yeah. With a suit full of mud and stuff scattered everywhere, and my bright blue bag sitting in the open space, if I ever get visited, I need to be able to take this stuff with me when I hide. Can you imagine some random truck enthusiast finding my bag with my cellphone and car/apartment keys, wallet, a bunch of clothes, etc? Not a pretty though. But I think with some extra considerations to keeping things tidy I’d have just one or two items right there that I can quickly grab and run away like some wierdo pervert.
Problem #6: Dew
This becomes more of an issue as the nights get cooler. By 2 or 3 in the morning, everything is just soaked with dew and when I put on some nice warm dry clothes, well, they’re neither warm nor dry and only help to suck more heat out of my shivering body. I’m pretty sure if I simply cover everything, it will come out much dryer at the end of the night…
So, having thought this through, I think my next purchases are going to be some sort of tarp, and one or two waterproof containers just large enough to hold the soppy clothes and some important items… This shouldn’t be too expensive, I hope.
Tata!
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